Monday, January 5, 2009

Welcome back to Blue Land!

The sucking continues. Don't let fluke wins against a real team like Vancouver fool you. We still stuck! 4-1 Tampa Bay? Are you kidding me? Hell, they were like 10 seconds from PsyDuck Goalie Mike Smith getting a shut out, too.

Sometimes, sucking isn't enough to make a game miserable, so we had to throw in an injury. Not just any injury either! Oh no, let's make sure it really suck and have our one bright spot get injured. Bryan Little, Mr. tied-for-7th-place-for goals-scored-in-the-NHL left the game with a rib contusion.

Once it became clear winning wasn't an option we were hoping that one of two things would happen and entertain us:

  1. Artyukhin and Bobo would fight. They almost got into it a few times and were chirping. Bobo has 2 inches on Arty, but Arty has 20lbs on Bobo. I would love to see that battle.
  2. Someone would piss off Mike Smith and he'd lose his mind and go nuts in the goal.

No such luck on either count.

Hockey FAIL!

For the first time ever, I went to the opposing side during warm-ups for someone other than a goalie! Shocking I know. I had to see Ryan Malone. He's so freaking hot and all tatt'ed up. SMOKING hot. I like Vinny (Lecavalier not Prospal) too so I enjoyed that as well.

Welcome to the Ryan and Vinny show!




Stretch it baby.



How funny is this sign?? According to the guy who made it, it pissed the midget off and made his team mates laugh. Great, it pissed him off enough to score twice. BTW...5'9'' my ass.



Hotness




Hi, I'm little baby Stampkos. I kinda forgot he was out there.





My obligatory Moose shot. He's looking at me. I can tell he's thinking "Is that my girl over there? What is she doing over there?" Sometimes I have to make him a little jealous so he appreciates me.


And for all you fellow BoBo lovers, I had to include at least one pic of him, even if not that good. It sucks because he got a haircut and I didn't get any good close-ups of it :(




Jeez, is that chick still taking pictures of me?



Cue the porno music!!




I've got a few "Malone-isms" I could teach him.





"I'm so glad Barry Melrose is gone." Is 91 the amount of time they have to change his diapers per game?




Um Um good.




Crash!



I think he looked better in a Pens jersey, but still hot. He actually looks really hot with NO jersey and tatts blazing.



GO Bobo! Fight! At least that would have been cool. What was NOT cool is the way Arty outskated you and made you look like a chump. That big Russian boy moves like a ballerina out there.





Ants playing hockey. Malone looks like he is figure skating.



"Look at me, I am a champion. Come into my crease and I will destroy you."






Ants...hockey





By far the most entertaining thing of the night...MASCOT HOCKEY! It was our mascot Thrash's birthday and all the mascots from various local teams, restaurants and any other bum in a fluffy suit showed up to wish him Happy Birthday. I lose my shit over mascots so I was super excited. FYI, that giant turd looking thing is Carvel's Fudgy the Whale.




Good times



Big Red from the Falcons playing goalie. Can we draft him? How is his groin. Can he sign one of those quick contracts like Leonhardt did?



Face off




Action. Tampa Bay making us look like even more of a joke.




Another Ryan Malone shots because really...can you ever have enough?



Two Russians and a Malone



More of this please! Mike Smith is just wishing someone would hit him.



























2 comments:

Shiona January 5, 2009 at 1:35 PM  

I love the mascots playing hockey! The last home game we had there was a Turtle following our mascot Al the ice gorilla around. I had no idea where the turtle came from, figured it out later that it was a mascot from a local restaurant.

Candace January 5, 2009 at 3:24 PM  

Love them girl!!! And you're right, Malone *did* look better in the Pens jersey, but looks *BEST* with the, oh, how did you put it..."with NO jersey and tats blazing."

Maybe *I'd* like to learn your "Malone-isms"...LOL.

And last but not least, love the Moose shot. And the commentary :-)

Thanks girl. Tough day. These made it better.

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